Where do I start?

Ok, let's get this out of the way, I am not a grammar expert. I can't tell you what a cliche' is, so expect plenty of them. I don't care about hyperboles and such. If you are an English teacher, feel free to show my blog as a "how not to." I don't care. Editors get paid to do something and I intend to give them an opportunity to do their best work. It's not like I have an editor sitting next to me, so if my writing annoys you, God love you if you are still reading.

I have always loved writing since I bought a Smith Corona typewriter at a garage sale in my early twenties. My greatest fear is I will spend too much time blogging each night and not enough time writing my novel.

And no, I can't write in the daytime, I have coupons to sell! Do I sound like I have an attitude, well I really don't but this blog is giving me an attitude, so work with me. My kids tell me I do have an attitude, but I think I know where they got their's from. I am also concerned that I will say "I" too much.

My original goal in the Smith Corona days was to be the next Erma Bombeck. I just loved her books and now I can't read them. They didn't hold up well in my estimation. May she rest in peace, Erma Bombeck was an original humorist in her day and she sold lots of books!!!!!!!

I no longer have the desire to write humor, unless it is part of a story verses her style of writing comedy into book form. I feel her work was that of an early Rosanne Barr and instead of hitting the nightclubs she just wrote it all down and got it published. Forgive me if Erma was a standup comedian and I am too ignorant to know. I am aware that she would do short bits on morning shows and as a guest on a late night program, but that was just part of the book tour, so I don't think she was a regular at the Improv.

Anyway, I started going to writer's workshops, enrolled in a community college to pursue journalism and got a job as a local stringer for some weekly papers. Why they hired me I do not know? The editors were constantly sitting me down and explaining each correction. I did learn a lot. One of the things I used to misspell a lot was alot. I just love compounding words, but I am told my compounds aren't allowed. I just think it is crazy that cornflower and rainstorm can be combined but alot is illegal in the scheme of proper writing and don't get me started on texting! So you can see why I don't bother.

Well, that's enough for a starter. I am baking holiday cookies for clients in between writing my nightly novel entry. More to come.